i was planning to just keep consistently being friendly and slightly flirty and still continue to work on my detaching.
here's how i really feel - even though i "feel" it about him being with her, at the same time i'm saying to myself - it's just part of the sitch - it's not better or worse or different - this is just telling me he's not ready to come out of the tunnel yet.
at the same time, it's okay for me to feel the emotion and let it pass through me, and then get back on track and focus on my commitment. follow the recipe and just not see it as 'this has to happen right now.'
just stay at my picnic.
after i wrote that whole long post - i said to myself - chaos in the castle, i'll just get on with my picnic. i know i wrote at the end i was finding it difficult to turn my back to the castle again, but just admitting it, allowed me to be able to do it.
KD thanks for the 'special' hug!
and another question - how is it that you are away for days from the board and then just the day i need your feedback you just pop right up?
yes i am noticing how he does not want to deal with the stress. i'm surprised he hasn't had a heart attack yet - it's amazing that the body can handle that amount of stress. it's the one thing that has been clear as day for me from the beginning.
as for back to business - yes - the business of keeping on focusing on myself and my life and where i am going with it right now that's the only business i need to be focusing on!!!
thanks for being here, dear friend, if i may call you that - you must be, if you have the patience and temerity to slog through my long rants
i shall take your advice fully to heart
hugs back to you
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
