MLC is different than WAS is different than piecing is different than...
plus, each of our sitches are different, as we are individually...
Having said that, remember... life teaches hard lessons... that's not our job. If we are "showing them" what it's like, then we are trying to teach them a lesson... if they are not willing to "get" the lesson (and we certainly see many examples of the WAS digging in when they think the LBS is preventing them from getting what they want) then they just won't get it... until they get what they want...
It's like we're trying to show them D is a bad thing... They certainly don't think so... and they certainly have done their research and have a lot of information that proves to them that D is certainly not the death that their LBS is trying to suggest...
Of course, we DO see examples of the shock of what life is like after D CAN bring a WAS back... consider though, that the WAS may not be choosing to stay because they want to... rather they are choosing to stay out of fear...
Ultimately, as unfortunate as it is, some WAS appear to need to close the M door with a D before they open to a new R.
We... can NOT... TEACH them anything... or SHOW them anything... their eyes are not open to the lesson, to use a metaphor. In the same way that our words don't get through to them.
To use 25's mantra... be the best LBS that only a fool would leave.
And here's the thing...
Until a couple is D... they're M... Showing them what it's like... well consider... they might just like it...
If they have to choose between a clingy, needy, spiteful, angry, desperate, depressed spouse who is intent on teaching them things that they don't want to learn... and peace and quiet and a life to make of their own choosing...
Well...
If they have to choose between a fantasy that they THINK exists... and a fantasy life and spouse that exists right in front of them...
