Paint it Black (OH Heck No, Paint it PINK!)

[WenikiTiki]

I went on anti-depressants, starting Friday. Wellbutrin. I'm hoping it helps get me out of this paralized fog I'm in.

Last few nights STBXH watched TV with me, not sure who started it. It makes me feel stupid. He is just playing the "let's be friends" game. I keep letting him. Several of those nights the kids and grandkids were around.

Today we talked a little about the divorce papers. It is so hard to stay calm and collected through these discussions. I did. He complained that he will be left with very little cash. That he will have to live on the boat for a few months. He is so silly and melodramatic. He will have enough money the first month to rent or buy a place.

I said to him that he will have plenty of money. He said that I had the checkbook. I told him, with a laugh in my voice, that the check book lays on the desk and it is open for him to look at. Then I said something silly. I said: "you know if we sat down and looked at it together we could talk about it."

Oh dopey me, thinking he could actually have a conversation with me. After 32 years of marriage, why start now?

I'm headed out to a baby shower with my DIL. Yesterday I went up to Pokai Bay and did my standup paddeling for a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes. 45 and 30! It was beautiful, I spent time with my best friends and some other friends. I know that life is good!