TM, My first thought on the photos...who is paying for them? If you want a photo, then do it w/your little one only.
As for the om, I would definitely be sure to advise her again, and if need by in writing, that you do not want them coming to your place. That is she can't agree to that, then a convenient pick up point will be established.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
