Goin' off the rails on a crazy train...

[wishing, hoping]

Has been a while since I posted. I have been so busy with GAL and my kids I havent had time to post. Long story short still on the road to D but I am in control now, not H. My lawyer has things under control and my ducks are in a row. H doesn't have a lawyer and is kind of freaking out. He still tries the power plays with me but I just call his bluff and don't let him make me react. Still wants me to be a mother to him. And this business about having no romantic feelings? Hogwash. Last night he was tickling me poking me and wrestling with me just like a teenage boy. And it was all initiated by H. He hasn't tried to "sleep" with me yet but nothing would surprise me at this stage of the game. The amount of delusional thinking and lack of touch with reality and dysfunction is astounding.

I continue to go to counseling every two weeks, have fun with the kids whenever possible and I am getting my son to his first counseling session next week. I am more detached now that I ever thought possible. It's not easy and it takes time but it makes life so much easier. And since I have detached to the point of treating him like an acquaintance, he has reached out to me even more. I will have days where he will not contact me at all and then days where he will not leave me alone.

As far as OW she is a fool. She is my polar opposite and as far as I am concerned she can have him. He is nothing but a large child and he is more exhausting than my own children. H tells me he wants the D over quickly since OW is concerned that the D is going to "drag out" another six months or so. I told him that her concerns are not my problem. That's my new mantra. "that's not my problem."

Thank goodness for this board. Otherwise I would feel like I was the crazy one!!!!