For me, having NO expectations of someone means that they mean absolutely nothing to you, and you mean nothing to them. But maybe that is a good place to be with H.
I think when you are really detached then the love that you have for someone can be put away in a box up on the shelf.
You can still have NO EXPECTATIONS and move forward with your life.
Meaning... it is a very narrow, personal experience...
Expectations have a tendency to put meaning to something that... of itself... has NO meaning...
If you take away the expectations, you take away any meaning...
A meaning is the basis for a reason...
Expectation: I expect my spouse to have sex with only me
Meaning: It means my spouse loves and respects me
Reason: My spouse had sex with someone else so I will stop loving them
Personally, I knew that I should have no expectations of my spouse when we got M. Then, I began to put meaning to her words and actions (she loves me). And THEN when she began to change, it conflicted with the expectations that I had started to create. So then I had a reason to be mad at her (or sad for myself) for her actions or words.
Our vows... might appear to encompass expectations... as we project them onto our spouses... when we say "I promise to..." we are projecting on our spouse that is what we expect OF THEM...
When we say our vows, we best be saying them as... this is what I AM committed to... and live that... our spouse may or may not do the same... that's all there is to it... no expectations... no meaning... no reasons...
