How many licks does it take...?

[workinghardguy]

Her house, her pool, her yard, her problem.

I know it's tempting 2TP. Originally when my W asked me to do something I'd do it. She was asking after all, not demanding and I wasn't even tossing myself in.

It allowed a connection, it allowed us to be "together" in some way, and it allowed me to feel useful to her.

But after a bit of that I realized I was just the patsy. I was fixing her stuff, installing stuff, etc... but that's because I was safe and convenient.

Since I stopped she's found a new person to that. It's not romantic or maybe it is and I'm just bad at reading signals. But the point is she found a way. She's also gotten better at being handy and doing things herself.

This doesn't mean that we don't do the occasional favor for each other, but it's not a habit nor an expectation. She stopped over and let the dog out a few weeks back for me. I dropped a movie by on my way through town a couple days ago.

As far as the crying... it still is going to hurt. Three to five years to really get over the hurt. I know I don't really feel the hurt from my very first marriage anymore so it does pass... though that was 14 years ago now!

I too felt like I was really doing well until I got home from being gone for 10 days. Of all things, I found a red onion that had gone bad in my pantry, leaked on the floor, and stunk up the whole house. That's what brought on the tears... a stupid onion. But it's because it brought home just how empty the house was all that time.

Oops... kids are here, gotta go!