You need to get a grip on yourself and stop being afraid. You are dealing with a child (and I'm talking about your W, not your D).
I notice that nobody has mentioned the obvious in terms of your ages. You said you went out with her when she was 18 and you were 30. Have you ever noticed that when she complains to you about "controlling" her, she's talking to you like a rebelious teenager to her father. She doesn't see you as a spouse any more.
Is the OM her age? I have a feeling that she feels that she's missed out on growing up. In fact, I'd make a sure bet with that.
The thing is that you are the adult here. YOU come up with the visitation. YOU come up with the plan. Not her. She's too immature to deal with anything.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
