Life is going well. I have met someone new, although that was more than a year ago, and he has recently moved in with me. Yep, it's that serious, M word serious, although we are in no rush. He is wonderful, I am in love with him, he is in love with me.
So why do I want revenge?
This can't be healthy.
The thing is, I am glad the Stupid German left me. I am really happy that I am not married to him, and that I have found someone so much better for me.
I don't love the Stupid German. I don't hate him either. When it comes right down to it, I have no feelings for him or his wife.
Except that I would like to see the both of them, not dead, but hurting. Teach them a lesson.
I don't know if this has anything to do with the fact that after five years, I have allowed someone to get close to me again. D is nothing like SG. And he gets it because he had an XW who left him for an OM.
But lately, after not even giving the SG a second thought, I dream of the day I can have his ass deported. Or making up a fake female and sending letters to his wife to break up their marriage. It is the anger that I feel, and I am trying to deal with it. But it is also not specifically directed at either one of them, which is odd. Although they seem to be the target for my anger, it is not them but the situation that pisses me off more than anything.
But even more confusing is that I would never go back to him. I haven't even emailed him in more than a year, have no desire to catch up.
But I think part of it is the fact that these two individuals were so thoughtless, and although I have no idea if they are happy or not, I want them to be punished for the destruction they so carelessly committed, and it seems so unfair that they can walk away and be married and happy while I had to struggle to pick up the pieces. And I know the best revenge is living well, but if they can't SEE you living well, what is the point?
I sound like an idiot!
Who cares what they see? What matters is that you found someone who appreciates you for you. Never do anything to get their reaction, that is a waste of your time.
Once you get to a point where you no longer have these thoughts, and you are happy with your new life, your new way, your new man you will be completely satisfied.
