You know I recently found out that the guy I hired to do my yard work was a convicted sex offender and was put in jail for parole violaton....Thank God! However I'd much rather have the Police Department do their job and put their energies into getting people like that man back into jail where he belongs, than to fart around looking for an ipod!
Snodderly, yes XH mean spirit just seems to be really coming through. It's finally happening. The true colors of XH and OW are coming through. For the first time since Christmas OW decided to participate in an outting with XH and the girls. She ignores the girls, and hangs all over XH. This has been going on ever since the girls started goig over there. According to D12 she felt OW made a half way rude remark to her, and I think she did. Not sure XH noticed. I think OW is jealous of the girls when she's there. She sure the heck doesn't act like a woman that's motherly and welcoming of her partners children.
Im sorry. I just can NOT imagine EVER shunning someone else's CHILDREN or any children!
AJ.....yes yes....triggers. Im learning what my triggers really are. Its really not so much the venomos spewing, insults, digs, gaslighting and A$$holeism. It's the overstepping of boundaries, and absolutely no respect for me as an individual.
This will always be a battle I guess. I must choose wisely what to engage with him. I feel really stuck between a rock and a hard place sometimes. Seems like some serious distance and pursuer going on here. The more distance I give, the stronger he comes on. The more I treat it like "this is your life, this is mine" the more irate he gets and the more intrusive he becomes.
I feel like if I just ignore it, it will just encourage him to think he still has control over us and has a say so. What he did about calling the police would've been much more acceptable had we both still been married and him in the home, as him as head of house hold. What he did was totaly unexpected, yet Im learning not to be suprised anymore. Geez whats next?
Maybe I've been the one giving him mixed messages. When I choose to interact with him in a civil or even friendly manner, he thinks it's ok to still act like he lives here.
As for focusing on me, I've been doing great. It's just when these big things happen with Xh i get a little sidetracked. I've decided Im going back to College! Im excited to go and plan on going through an online college. Work is going really good and Im learning more each day and presented with new tasks to learn and more knowledge under my belt. I have created close friendships with my co workers and they've been so supportive of me this year.
Im in a good mood most of the time, and out of the depression. Im physically feeling much better due to some new supplements Im taking. Im reading some wonderful uplifting books and shifting my thinking into a much more positive way...the way I used to be! For the first time in I don't know how long, Im back on track to living authentically. I think the grieving process has finally come to an end for me, and it feels so great. I look at my life now as anyting is possible! Im just a bit overwhelmed as to what direction I want to go!
Synchonicity is all over the place and signs are everywhere that remind me I am where I am supposed to be and it's time to just enjoy life.
