My mistake was that my GAL and not being available was working. However, I jumped back too soon and should have kept up with the GAL and not being available.
I apologize if how my W acts and the person she is does not match the script perfectly. If this was a computer program to write where things always acted a specific way, it would be easy.
While I do sincerely appreciate the time and effort people are putting into helping me, some of the advice I am seeing is not me. It is actually quite a-hole like. I have not played games in a relationship since I was a sophomore in college. Cancelling a dinner on short notice is a rude thing to do.
My relationships have always been based on communication. My W and I stopped communicating and this happened. What she did does not fit anything she has ever done. She has apologized and admitted it was a mistake. Now she has to lose the emotional attachment that was built when we lost contact.
What information do you want from me? Do you want to hear my W and I haven't ML since November 2011? My W is not the type to ML to two people at the same time. She doesn't get physical with two people at once. Things we have discussed.
So excuse me if I am seeing progress in our interactions compared to Jan 2011, June 2011, Nov 2011, March 2011, May 2011, etc. I am the one in the trenches seeing it. I am the one that knows my W and knows her cues. How did the OM get in? I stopped looking.
My W isn't this evil person trying to be with two people at once. It has always been my decision to do things with my W during this. She isn't playing a game with me.
If my W was filing for D or filing Protection Orders against me or keeping my Ds from me, then yes, some of this is great advice. If my W wanted nothing to do with me, then yes, going dark completely would be a great thing to do. My situation is not yours. Every situation is not the exact same, but have similar areas.
My W is looking to see if a M with me is going to be more of the same or the M we envisioned having years ago. My goal is to show her that a M to me is going to be a good thing. To accomplish that, takes actions, not the same words I gave her over the past 5 years on how we were going to do this and that.
Yes, I am a better person post bomb than I have been in over 5 years. I am happier, healthier. I enjoy my life on the days I am with the W and I enjoy my life the days I am not.
This isn't a cattle-call where I try to be the best me from a distance and hope she picks me. This is about being there and showing results. My W wants to pick me but wants to make certain things will be different.
If this turns some of you away, then thank you for taking time to help me. I sincerely appreciate the advice and I am sorry that you will no longer choose to help me when I have questions. I will continue to give advice to others when I think I can help in a non-judgmental way.
I have gotten some really great advice here that I have chosen to follow and it has worked great and has improved my situation.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
