H had told me earlier in the week that he wanted some seafood and would cook dinner on Thursday. We talked yesterday around 4pm, and I ask him what he decided to cook for dinner. He was like What? He had completely forgot that he had said he would cook. Before, I would have been upset, mad, disappointed, you name it. This time I just laughed. He said he'd figure out dinner. I told him whatever he wanted was fine. He ended up going for pizza and wings. He drove 15 mins out of the way to get the wings from this place we both like. He also went and got this particular juice that I like.
It trips me out that for someone who wants to leave so bad, he's doing all of this stuff. Things he used to do when we were dating, but wasn't doing BEFORE the bomb drop. I know I should just be enjoying the moment, but there's sometimes this question in the back of my mind: Why is he doing it? To soften the blow of something coming? I'm working on just living in the moment and letting that be enough. It's hard though.
I had PT this morning, then went back home to change and say goodbye to H. I am feeling a little anxiety about whether he will see OW this weekend, but I'm not sure if it's true anxiety or if I just feel like I "should" be anxious. Does that even make sense? I did ask him if he was going to this other city nearby(the city where we met and went to school). It's also where he used to tell me he was going to see his friends, when I believe he was actually with OW some of the time. But I digress...
My back is feeling a lot better after PT this morning. I'm looking forward to going home after work and getting some sleep. I didn't really rest well last night because of my back, and having the whole bed to myself will be GREAT. LOL
