Just got a chance to read your thread. Oh, how I remember the anger stage! My H was so cold and mean to me. It was tough. Real tough.
Now before MLC, I would give smart comments right back to him. So... In an effort to do a 180, I started to just let him bash me and not say anything. Maybe validate here and there. It didn't seem to be helping.
Then one day, I had enough of his abuse. I told him that I was no longer going to let him treat me like sh@t, and that I was no longer going to slink around my house like a scolded child.
To my surprise, his attitude improved.
They are right when they say do what works and stop what doesn't work. I made it through the anger stage, and you will too. Every now and then, my H still snaps at me for something ridiculous. One day it was because I handed him the wrong color towel to clean up a spill from the kids. Now I find that if I just ignore him instead of reacting, he actually apologizes! Who would have thought?
I understand the feeling sorry for him. My H hates work too. One of my favorite responses he gave me when I asked him how his day at work was is, "it sucked ass, like always." No PMA there!!! But, they are grown men, and we can't fix things for them. They have to figure stuff out on their own, just like us.
As always, hang in there. I dread the weekends worrying about my H going out on his secret "dates" with the OW. I know, I know... Detach.
Stay tough!
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
