Wen's post made me think. It made me think about what "good endings" are and how that fits with the idea that if things haven't worked out, then it's not the end*.
Good to me is that I am whole. I agree with Jack (on another thread) I'd rather be LBS than MLC any day of the week. I had a front row seat for much of it. I can tell from subsequent contact that it is not a place for me. I don't ever want to live like that if I have a say in it
What used to sadden me is to know that they repress so much. We all do most likely. But the MLCr in a more pronounced way. The problem with not facing things is that they come back. Like feelings buried alive - they come back later. My ex once told me she didn't understand and didn't remember saying she never loved me. I believe that. I don't think she remembers that. I think there is much more she doesn't remember or "re-remembered". The psyche has a way of protecting itself and for good reason I'm sure. It's how we are designed.
I've learned that going through tough times, or causing issues and later having to face them is just part of life. It is what it is. We have to take the good with the bad, else it would all blend in together I think.
So did it work out "good"? I think so. I'm not happy about the impact to my children by my ex, but that's not something I have control of. Am I in a good place? Abso-friggin-lutely! I am at a place where I no longer care if she has to face or chooses not to. If she has to remember or not. I have way too many other things in my life that need and warrant my attention. Me for example...
AJ *The saying would be "all things work out for the best in the end. If it's not for the best, then it's not the end". Or something like that. It's definitely way past the end in that light... Thanks for the post Cadet.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
