Stronger

[mishka422]

Ok folks....I'm pretty excited about this but not getting my hopes up too much....I'm down 5 pounds this week and I didn't even have time to hit the gym. CRAZY! Of course, that weigh in was done the morning after I had to take a diuretic because I was majorly bloating (being a woman is such fun...NOT!) the night before. I'll get a more clear weigh in next week so it may not be 5 but that couldn't all be water, right? Fingers crossed.

On the other side, my anxiety level is at DEFCON 3 at the moment. I'm not going to full scale level 5 but it's inching closer to a 4 all the time. Gabe leaves for Cali tomorrow evening. He said the strangest thing to me last night and at first it made me nervous. He said, "Now, don't you be calling me all the time in CA and telling me you can't sleep." (When we were married I used to tell him I couldn't sleep when he was gone.) After he said that and I had a momentary panic about why he was saying that, he laughed and said, "I know I won't sleep at all when you're gone so I plan to call you and whine about it daily!"

I don't even know why I felt I needed to say it but I told him I learned to sleep alone and I have a strategy. Oops. Didn't mean to remind him of that but it's the truth and I have a bad habit of the truth just spilling out of my mouth before I think about the consequences of what I am saying.

I don't think he took it badly. I just felt bad that I had said anything.

So, I'm using breathing techniques and a rubber band on my wrist to keep my emotions under control. When my axiety starts to flare I do my breathing exercises and then snap myself back into submission!