Kevd111

[LostIn407]

We have very similar situations. W says the spark is gone, we never did anything.

I am getting really good advice on my thread. I am having a hard time following it because of fear, but the information there is gold.

It is almost like the WAS go on a script. Almost everything your W has said, my W said. A lot the things you have done, I have done.

Here are the things I would concentrate on:
GAL
180s
Children

This is the part that is going to hurt. You have to give her space. What you think is going to happen probably will. My W wanted space. Wanted her own apartment. I gave it to her. I failed here. Not only did I give her space, I funded it for a month and a half. Do not do that. She is a big girl. She can find her own place.

My W and OM were at a '6' on a scale when the bomb dropped. She got the apartment and it shot up to a '10'. I was crushed. I told her I didn't appreciate it and told her we were separating bank accounts, bills, etc. Told her not to talk to me again until he was gone. It stayed near '10' with the OM for a bit.

But slowly she started to respect my wishes. He wasn't around my Ds. They started to spend less time together. From talking to her and others, I would say they are in the '1' to '3' range right now. Not the '0' I want.


Point is, you need to decide right now if you can forgive her. If you can't, then you need to DB/DR to prevent her from going out to 'live her freedom'.

"How can the person I've given my life to for 12 years lose the feeling. I guess it has been a long time in the making."

Very true. I thought it was only in the making since we moved last year. From speaking with her, it has been on her mind for quite some time.

She has a huge headstart on you in this. You are going to be playing catchup for a long time. Stick to the 37 Rules and you can makeup this time. Backslide and you lose time.