Kevd111

[Kevd111]

Thanks again Cadet. I guess I really need validation that it's not all just on me as she is trying to portray it now. She thought a new house 3 years ago would bring her happiness. Before that it was spending that was a problem. Now, it's me that has kept her down and I've not been enough fun. I feel broken and even worthless at this. How can the person I've given my life to for 12 years lose the feeling. I guess it has been a long time in the making.

I know marriages aren't perfect, and I'm willing to take ownership of times when I could have spent time with her but chose work or could have taken her places but opted out when she insisted on bringing the children (we have not spent an overnight without children since our honeymoon - and she lobbied to take her 9-year-old son on that).

I can see my mistakes there, but don't feel it's fair for her to put it all on me. I know that I should believe nothing what she says, but it cuts deeply to hear that she'd want to pursue other men as part of her 'freedom'. I don't think I could take her back after that if she should ever look for it.

The kids are the biggest factor. I really do have a very special bond with both of them to a point where I honestly think my 10-year-old daughter would want to be with me over her mother. If she breaks up this family so she can go out and 'live with freedom' I don't know if I can forgive her after I have to look at the faces of my children.

Regardless, you are correct in that she has guilt and that is why she tries to comfort. Should I turn down all efforts for her to give me a hug or if she grabs my hand? I intend to stay as positive as possible, but the deep sadness is hard to hide. When I feel this way, should I just find some way to get out of the house or something?