Drove past H's parent's house on my way to my brother's house and guess who's car was there? Yup, OW's. I stopped immediately and went to the house and walked right inside the house and there they were all (meaning his mom, sister, OW and H) sitting on the couch just chatting away. OW's face was pretty priceless.
I just looked at my H and said, can I talk to you? So we went outside and talked for a while and he basically said all the same things he's said before about how his connection with OW will never be like his connection with me but he's still so confused. He just wanted to go to his therapy session tomorrow and lay it all out and get a 3rd party's perspective. He was really looking forward to it because he says he struggles everyday with what to do.
I said, you're already making the decision by continuing to hang out with her and your family. Why is it that when you're trying to figure things out that you have to have her around? You're just making it harder on yourself and harder on her. Maybe try finding your own happiness and finding yourself rather than trying to find it through someone else like you once said to me.
I don't know folks... I mean, really? How much longer can I put up with this? It got so bad during the conversation that I actually FAINTED!! Yup, totally lost it and was completely out of it.
I sat there on his lawn thinking, I have no where to go. He gets to walk right back inside and has OW to comfort him and make him feel better along with his family and I have NO ONE!! The worst feeling in the whole world. The one person I just want to comfort me and be on my side was standing right in front of me saying... I don't know what to say.
More and more I'm seeing a different side to him than I've ever seen. How can I want to be with someone who could care less about what I do? He doesn't appreciate me. His connection is so strong with OW (or so he thinks) and I am not going to compete with that.
I have so much more dignity in myself than I ever did before and although it makes me sick to my stomach to end things. I'm really feeling like we will not progress into anything while he's cake eating and I'm allowing it. OW is not going anywhere and I am the backup. I cannot accept that in a M and will not accept it. I know without a doubt that I will be gone and he will regret all of these decisions he's making. The fact that he's been questioning his decision to continue with her just proves that. But at this point, time for me to move on... it's getting old.
Really having some major thoughts of just filing. There's only so much of this that I can take after he repeatedly tells me that he just wants his family back together. I do not feel bad about going to his house tonight. Their behavior is sooooo inappropriate.
Getting caught up here.
jks. remember feeling change, your H's have change about the M. I understand your hurting about the situation stated above. Sorry you had to see that frist hand. I can only image the pain it caused you.
He actions are telling you a lot. I know the two of you have a history together. We all have history with our spouses. Letting go of that R is very difficult.
If you were currently dating someone for a month or two and they were doing the same thing, how would you respond?
I won't speak for you but I would drop someone like that so fast.
One of the best pieces of advice I received from the boards here was: Find someone who want to be with you.
I also think some truth darts need to be thrown at your H.
I agree with the poster who said that D is just a piece a paper. Much like a M certificate.
Filing for D in is the untimate boundary enforcement.
I wouldnt go to any more C sessions with him while OW is in the picture. Take care of yourself, build your self esteem and live forward. IF/When your H ever gets his head of of his arse, you will be healthy mentally to make a decision. You may find that he is not worth your time anymore.
Remember, you get to decide how you live your life. gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
