No More LRT, but slow progress

[LostIn407]

Thanks for the responses.

"Wife, I have thought deeply about these past few months. I have owned and worked on my issues. I am now at a point where I am mentally strong and able to enforce my non-negotiable boundaries. I have decided that I will not be involved in an open marriage. It is disrespectful to the marriage. It is disrespectful to the children. It is disrespectful to me.

I feel confident that I can get this out. It is something that I would say.

I am moving on from this point. With you or with out you. I know I will be fine either way."

Don't know about this one. Does it need to be said? Isn't it a given?

I suspect her response will be that she doesn't know what she wants at this point in her life, she just needs time, etc....

To this, my gut tells me to respond with "Until there is noone else in your life, we cannot work on us. I can no longer disrespect myself and allow you to see another person while still getting the benefits of me. (don't like that wording)."


My W does something to me. I have self-esteem except when around her. I am successful in all other areas. I just am fearful of losing her.

We never fought. In ten years, I can't remember more than two or three arguments. I guess that is why this is so hard. This is basically a fight. When you fight a lot, you learn the boundaries of a fight. You know what to expect. This is all new to me.