Kevd111

[Kevd111]

I've read a lot through the forum, and I appreciate all that you are telling me. I've read the rules and understand the idea of detaching and getting my own life.

I thought that since she had made mention of trying to work together to rebuild (slowly) I would try to nurture that by being available and ready to express affection. However, as I'm sure many of you would have predicted, she still feels the need to leave.

Her latest comments are that she hasn't had a chance to live and that she feels like she's missed out so much on life. Does this sound more like a MLC vs. WAW deal or do they actually have some overlapping aspects? I know the way to treat them is the same. What hurt the most is when I asked if her 'living life' meant exploring things with other men, and she said yes. Makes me feel broken - as if I'm not good enough any more and that can really hurt. I've given my life to her and she is ready to throw it away, devastate our two children (10,8), and seek out some life she felt was denied. Currently she blames me for keeping her down, and that [censored]. Before that it was the house we had so we ended up moving to a nice new one since she felt she'd be happy there. All in all, I think it is SHE who has caused her own unhappiness, but we'll see if MC can help bring that about. They have already told me that they want to see her alone for a while next session.

I guess my theme is that the prescribed methods here are easier said than done sometimes. I have been running and I'm at the lowest weight I've been since college. I've started writing again, and have rediscovered my joy of reading. I'm taking the kids places like on hikes and out to play tennis. That's all great and I feel great about my self improvement. However, we all live in the same home, and at times I feel such a crushing sadness I have to let loose. I usually am able to escape somewhere by myself, but at times she catches me. She tries to console me, and the irony of her trying to console me when she is the source of my pain is not lost on me. I do wish I had a shoulder to cry on, and it [censored] that I cannot go to my wife of 11 years for comfort.

Any thoughts on how to handle weaker moments while all living in the same home. Recall I just can't up and leave for great lengths of time with two kids that need supervision.