my ex BIL divorced my sister after 22 years and 3 kids. Theirs was a one sided marriage in which my older sister did the vast majority of the giving and almost all the parenting and worked full time as well...
on their first post divorce anniversary he actually did a classy thing (for me to concede this is huge).
He sent her roses and said, "it's still worth remembering".
And you can tell yourself that too Val. Like you said, it was a very happy day for you. Friends and family and for awhile, someone loved you, in their way. It'll happen again and it WILL be better.
As Oprah says, sort of,
"this, I know to be true."
ps fwiw
my sister remarried a new man. The guy has his flaws as we all do. But he worships my sister and is good to her. He "gets" her and is so grateful she's in his life. I have asked her if she'd go back to h#1, the love of her life, if things somehow happened.
She said "now that I know what it's like to be THE priority in someone's life, I'd never go back to what we had..."
She had parental regrets but she is happier now than she probably ever could have been with h#1. He was just wound too tightly and btw, "Speaking of Karma"
he's in mc now with his w#2, whom HE describes as "high maintenance."
When his mom died, he called my sister before he called his present wife. They both cried togehter on the phone and THAT is sad. And I feel sorry for him at times.
But my sister's happiness now, is real.
POINT BEING, Her ex h did her a favor leaving, Val. And the more I hear details about your past m,
the more I have to wonder if maybe that's what your ex w did for you...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
