DB Bootcamp - sophiedaphne and JCJ

[25yearsmlc]

Hey.
So, I've definitely been trying to back off, and I can't say it has been working in regard to my husband's response, but I guess I'm feeling a little better.

However, I did have a little setback.

We had concert tickets to see "The Wall" on Saturday and I had invited a friend to go,


out of curiousity, you said "we" had tickets..." But who had gotten the tickets, you, him, or both of you?

but husband asked me if it would be ok if he took a friend. I didn't feel like arguing about it, so I just said fine.

The next day--- I asked him if he went with a work friend. He said, "yes, I took a friend." I found it weird --- and curiosity got the best of me and I asked if there was someone else. He said no and told me that that was a hurtful question for me to even ask.

I don't really see how...

you don't see how? Well, maybe b/c it implies that he is a liar.

Or maybe b/c it's near the truth.

We don't know. But it's sort of pointless to wonder about things that cannot yield you a positive answer. Do you know what I mean?

Anyways, I forgot to change my address on amazon and something that I ordered is being shipped to my old apartment so I will unfortunately have to stop there at some point to get it, so I will see him. I will try to take the above advice.


Every interaction is an opportunity for you to show him a change in you.

So be the change you want to see in yourself. Even if it's just for an hour of "Practicing" or faking it til you make it, it's a start.

Remember the negative images that you want to counter, and what types of positive images and actions would help you do that.

Let him learn to be comfortable and unpressured around you. Do not show disappointment or expectation. The more relaxed he becomes, or learns to be, the easier it is to be around you then the more you can bond together again.


I have also been asked out by three different people in the last week. One was a high school friend, the other a college friend, and the third was a guy I just met through a vegetarian/atheist group I'm a member of. I have to say, it's so tempting to start dating again

Uh, wasn't your other thread about how you made out with a guy and then felt bad? (titled, "I Kissed a boy& I liked it but now I feel bad" ???)

So how many times are you going to go down this same road?

Why do you think you do this?

And if your h had taken a woman to the concert, how would you feel? I mean he left you for reasons you admit were valid. So, aren't you trying to show him the new different you?

How would dating ANYONE ELSE now, show the new you? You said you want to become more selfless, that you don't always need to be right, that you don't always have to have a man thinking about you, and that you are not high maintenance?

So how does dating, WHILE supposedly wanting to reconcile, show any of those things?

AND How would it be fair to the new guy?

Also for you to be asked out 3 times in one week means you are putting out a signal you might want to look at.

Either it's neediness radiating from you, or a lot of flirting, but neither seems appropriate or healthy, just right now, correct?


but I've already told them all that I just don't think I'm ready and I don't want feelings to get hurt because it's too soon. (Also, I would have no idea how to pick which guy to date, haha.)

So you know you are not ready to date.....Just curious, Why would they ask you out at all if they think you are working on restoring your marriage?


I did go out to dinner with one of them last night, and I had a really nice time.


Wait...what?? So you ARE Dating?? Wow, I'm confused now.

Unfortunately, he is probably a little too old for me. I'm also going to splish splash (water park) on Sunday with my college friend. It should be fun!

I am definitely GAL and having a lot of fun. I keep having dreams about my husband and I reconciling, though, so when I wake up, it hits real hard.

Mornings are often the hardest, I know. But what I don't know is,

What is it that you really want most?

Are you honestly willing to work on yourself even if there is no guarantee he'll come back-

and the only "thing" you'll get is an improved you?