Attagirl!! Seems like you have muddled through on your own, and that beats anything I or anyone could tell you. The best way to learn something is to do it yourself.
The two of you are going to go through some highs and some lows... he may even overwhelm you at times. But before you get angry, try the honest and direct approach with him, tell him how you are feeling, and just simply ask him to slow down.
The 'anger' that you feel sometimes will fade if you just give yourself a minute to relax, and he can slow down to your pace. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't, but whatever you do, just keep trying.
Like some of the HDs on my thread have said, if you say 'not tonight,' try to set a time in the near future to follow up with him. And then follow through on it, even if you don't feel like it. More often than not, if you can just relax and pay attention to what is going on, you can 'get in the mood' in fairly short order.
Continue reading that book, and don't let your husband off the hook by not seeing a counselor. It's real easy not to go back when things seem to be on the up swing. But like I said before, you're going to have some ups and downs before things start to even out... the counselor will help you with strategies on getting through the tough spots. Plus, when you are on an 'up' cycle, it is much easier to talk about problems, and to take constructive criticism.
All the best to you... I'm glad the two of you are reading the SSM book together!!
