Originally Posted By: chatterbug
What your doing is not a 180.

It is pursuing. It is enabling her.

As long as things are good for her. Nothing will change. You see she will learn nothing here.
It will go one of 3 ways.

1. She keeps with the OM and you. As she has no reason to change.
2. She gets bored of OM or OM dumps her and comes back to pretend to work on marriage. Which means working on you and your "faults". Until her next time you need to be taught a lesson ( OM 2 )
3. She moves on and leaves you with OM or another.

See there is no consequences to her actions. None. As she will know you will take her back open arms. No questions asked. Afraid to stand up for yourself.

Now here is 180's

1. Cut out tv. No more couch.
2. Exercise. Chart it. Picture it. And track it.
3. Quit smoking / drinking all together.
4. Better diet.
5. Spend time with kids.
6. Change and get better job so your available ( oh yea you did that... )


Now that was some sacrifice you did. 6 months in vegas away from your family. Working hard so that life in FL would be easier. Then you moved to FL to take on a crappy job you hated so that you would be closer. Knowing full well that you would still not be able to spend time together but at least you would be able to see your family for a few minuets here and there.

As far as I can see it. She did not uphold her end of the bargain.

Stop giving her reasons and justifications.

You already addressed the lack of time by working your way back to Florida. Taking on a self sacrificing job to put food on the table for everyone and then getting a better job where your finally able to have time with everyone.

So there.

Spend time with your children.

Talk with them all day. Be the best daddy ever. Plan your spare time around your GAL and them. Wife will have the opportunity to join in on time with family. Her Choice.



And that her wanting me to tell her no., do not go out with friends... That is just bs. She is a big girl who makes her own decisions. Some of these decisions have consequences.

You may be talking. But the two of you are having very different conversations. She gives crumbs. You take them.

You can detach in a loving and caring way. No one is telling you to be an ass. Were telling you to be a respectful and loving father who is attacking all that wants to destroy your marriage.

She has had 3 months of cake eating.

Its time to create crisis and get out of limbo.


GOLD ^^^