How I see it, what I am doing right now is a 180. We are spending time together. We are talking.
But you can't do it while she's in the middle of an affair -- it sends the wrong message.
Look, it sounds like you have some genuine things you need to repent of. OWN THEM. Apologize to her, and mean it, but then say "I can't change any of that. All I can do is focus on the future, and building a new and better marriage with you, and work like hell to try to keep our family together. But I can't do that when you're having an affair. End it, and come back and work on the marriage with me, and let's build something wonderful together."
(see, there goes the sappy part of me again . . . )
