She doesn't rub OM in my face. It is there, but rarely spoken about.
You are mistaking "talking about" with ACTIONS. Even if OM is NEVER talked about, the fact that she is having an affair with him is mutually understood: she knows, you know, and she knows that you know.
That's all that matters. Once that happens, and she continues and you allow it to continue, I contend that that IS "rubbing it in your face."
Words are cheap. ACTIONS is what you want to focus on.