My wife had an affair, not only that she moved out and in with him.
Contact continued after she came back to me and she ****ed him whilst pregnant with our son some time in 2009.
It is so hard for a man to forgive that stuff. So very, very hard and it's only in the last eighteen months that I have really begun to come out of it. The anger you feel is indescribable. On the one hand you want to forgive and move on but on the other you're utterly digusted with yourself for staying with what you grow to think is a skank whore of a wife.
There's not much you can do really other than say "I'm sorry you feel that way DH and for choosing to hurt you like I did." or, "I take full responsibility for doing it DH and for every bit of pain you experienced as a result of my choices".
Forgiveness comes reasonably easier to me than others I know but stuff like infidelity really does take time, lots of it, to heal. Time alone isn't enough. Time and doing the right things consistently will get the job done.
Good luck.
GH31
Wow. I know how you feel. The pain is indescribable and it just takes so much time to get past it. I'm glad you put a number to it. It could be three years from the time of an infidelity, after work has been done on restoring the relation that the pain is distant enough.
I was an easy forgiver too, but due to the reasons that I was brought to DB-land I'm not so sure anymore. I guess I can forgive certain serious transgressions and just let them go. Forgive them for my peace of mind, and let them go and move on with my life. That's pretty much what I got out of this place.
