Is it just me...

[LostIn407]

I have two little ones (3yr and 4yr). Their birthdays just happen to be close to BD.

My advice is to just do what you want to do. Give him a schedule and that is it. No invitation. Just the facts. No expectations. You are the bus driver. You keep your schedule whether or not passengers get on the bus.

SAY:
"For S's birthday, we are going to xxxxxx for dinner at 6pm."

DO NOT SAY:
"Would you like to join us for a birthday dinner? Where do you think we should have it? What time is good for you?"

When you have set plans, there is no pressure on the other party. They either make it or they don't.

When you throw out an invite and try to get them involved in the planning, then you are putting pressure on them. They are pressured to say yes. They feel bad if they can't go because they feel you need them to help.

Also, no expectations. None. Learn from me.

I asked the W if she wanted to go shopping for D3 after she got off work. I expected to do some shopping and then grab dinner and drinks where we would laugh and have a good time.

Shopping was pain. W was cold. Didn't want to talk. Didn't want to joke/laugh. As soon as shopping was done, it was "goodbye".

The rest of my night sucked. I had expectations.

It is not our job to teach them a lesson. Life will do it for us. If he chooses work over family, that is his decision and he will have to pay for it later. Just concentrate on you and your little ones.