My story, my progress, my hope

[Tinman]

Hi Say,

Yes I hear what you are telling me. I still feel like it was the right thing to do. I have been there for her anytime she needs me. I have been understanding and shown her nothing but love. While I fairly new to this forum I have been going thru this for 5 months. I have not always made the smartest moves but everything I have done has been to work toward us.

Over the last 5 months she has broken my heart over and over with no remorse on her part. She has told me that she was done and she has never been able to recover from done, She has told me she does not love me, she has told me that she is not physically attracted to me and the list goes on. She has made comments about my kids and how her kids are not as excited to see my kids. She started lying to me about small things, she has reconnected with old flames or want to be flames and is constantly texting them even when I am around. She is not the person I feel in love with. How can someone who is supposed to love you treat you with such disrespect? And why would I want to spend one min longer trying to save something that the other person has made clear that they want no part of.

I have spent a few hours a day reading the posts on this forum and yesterday I spent about 6 hours. It really is overwhelming how many LBS go on for so long only to end up with nothing. Yesterday I was looking for hope on this forum and really only found pain and hurt.

I don't want to fail with my W but I also need to take a step back and really let her go. I think my text to her yesterday did just that. I left the door to my heart open and clearly told her that I would like to work on our marriage. I also told her that I was moving on with my life. She knows how I feel about her. This whole process is about giving her space and now she has all the space she needs.

I am not done but starting a new chapter in my life. It does not change the fact that I love her more than I have loved anyone in the past (besides my kids) and my hope is that at some point she grows out of this and realizes that we were truly good together. Who knows what happens going forward but I am going to try my best to move forward and be happy no matter happens in the future.

Now I need a road trip for this weekend so I am not around to think about anything. Maybe out to LA and do some bike riding along the coast or maybe to the local bar to play out a scene from my now favorite Movie “crazy, stupid love” . If you have not watched this yet it is great for folks in our situation. Reminder to self, get rid of New Balance Tennis Shoes!