My story, my progress, my hope

[labug]

Well I tried my best but I guess I am done.

You can be "done" at anytime, your call but you'll have other R despite what you say in the last paragraph. All these issues will come up again until you figure out why you do what you do.

I was not going to go down but she text and asked if I was coming down. So I went down.

sias covered this. Don't be so available.

We had a decent time and then we were chatting and she started talking about her making up with her friend and telling me about this discussion she had with her. About how she was now a single parent and had no one else to count on and how bad her situation was. It broke my heart! ...
So anyway she is telling me all about this conversation and I have to look away because I am getting a little teary eyed and did not what her to see. Then she asks what is wrong with me. I said something like “I am sorry just hard to hear some of this as you talk about us in such finality” She said “I was talking about my current situation” and then she got up and said I guess I should have known better than to talk to you about it. Then she walked away and went inside.

As ss said, do you see that she was sharing something that was important and painful for her and made it all about you? You aren't in charge of her friendships or who she lets into her life so it's not for you to judge.

You took an opportunity to listen, understand and validate and turned it into more of the same.

I sit by and watch while she goes out and parties, drinks like a fish and puts herself in horrible situations. I just don’t know what to do but really I cannot honestly say that at this point even if she came back I could deal with how she is acting.

Again, not your role, she's an adult and can make her own choices.

I told her that if she wanted to work on the marriage I wanted to but I could not hang out in limbo anymore and was not willing to accept the scraps of her life.

You've put yourself in that situation, don't go there every time she calls.

Breaks my heart but I think the thing that put me over the edge is that I end up taking my hurt feelings out on my girls and it is not fair to them.

Don't blame this on your W-your feelings are completely in your control. This is where you need to dig deep, because as I said above you have other R (children, friends)and you will have other R, you need to figure this out or all your R will be troubled.

You can do this, but it's not as easy as saying "I'm done."