Ok, I just caught up with your thread and I'm sorry I didn't read it sooner!!

Ok, my take is that her hormones are blinding her a lot more than even she realises. I'm assuming she is nearing her 40's (if not already in her 40's). My own hormones were playing a MAJOR part in the separation 2 years ago. Mind you, overall it was a good thing because it forced both of us to look at things and push the reset button.

Hormones at that age can really get to work up to 14 days prior to the menses...

In her good weeks, it might be worth considering talking to her about how her health is doing on the hormone front. Or, maybe you could find a way to do it indirectly (which might be better). FYI: since I started taking Rhodiola Rosea, all my PMS and accompanying symptoms (including the physical ones like cramps, backache, tender breasts etc.) have vanished. Any old Adaptogenic herb will do the trick - but I have found RR to be the most effective. Some people work better with homeopathy or other herbs...but orthodox medicine is pointless (unless one can afford the bio-hormones that are available, but it can be so expensive (I know, I've researched it!) Listen, RR is helpful for all kinds of stress so you could even take it yourself and leave it out on the table for her to see. When she asks about it, talk about how amazing it has worked for your stress levels and she might consider taking it herself.

I think that after that R talk, it shook her up a bit and then she started working again. I'll have to put my thinking cap on to see what might be able to tip the scales a bit for you.

Off the top of my head, I'm thinking distance. The old, "They don't know what they have until they've lost it". You've done an amazing amount of work and she will be thinking about that - AND you are an amazing dad. This is surely working in your favour.

One other thing I'm thinking on the job front. My H was also pissed off about my money/work situation. I couldn't find a paying job so instead I started volunteering at photography related things - to make contacts and to open up the doors for possible future jobs. He was satisfied with that. So, you could try that option and explain that since there are no paying jobs available at the moment, that you are working towards it in this way and making contacts, networking and looking at the long term prospects that way.

I'll keep on thinking about ideas and let you know.