My H wouldn't have a leg to stand on going the PA route. Until a month ago I was supportive of the boys seeing him even though it was very difficult for me. Once he amped up the spewing and verbal abuse toward me I cut him off from contacting me. Now he has to sink or swim with the boys. I am no longer enabling their relationship. He abandoned us, which includes the kids even though he disagrees. We were emotionally shattered while he moved to another city and jumped on sleezy dating sites. Nothing he has done has shown the kids that they are a priority in his life. It's all about him. If he pushes contact with them they will become even more resentful. If he wants a relationship with them then he will have to come to terms with the pain he has caused. He will have to hear how they feel about his actions without defending himself. They don't care that he left to find happiness. He blew up their childhood. They can't get the time back that they should have been happy. Instead they have been in horrible pain. I seriously could care less whether the boys ever see him. It's not my job to be the bigger person and lie to my kids about their father for the sake of co-parenting. That's enabling and I'm done with that. He has to fly on his own. He alone will have to live with what he caused. If the boys grow up without a father that will be all on him. I won't talk against him, but I'm certainly not going to solve this problem.
Snodderly, regarding talking to my H regarding counseling, I wouldn't dream of it. I don't want to have contact with him regarding anything. His last round of verbal abuse was it for me.
