CeMar: I've been giving him the benefit of the doubt for the past 6 years! After so many times of having his wife wake up in a rage, don't you think that staying in the marriage qualifies? Am I supposed to give him the benefit of the doubt yet again, when he did it a few days after apologizing for it and vowing to never do it again?
I AM in therapy. I started seeing a counsellor last month because I thought my LD to ND was completely my problem and wanted to get help so I could be a complete wife. I've been fighting bouts of depression feeling extremely guilty for rejecting H. Thank you for the "willingness vs. desire" link. Considering my past abuse, I've done remarkebly well and DO desire sex when I feel wanted, loved and respected. Our sex life was wonderful and now that I look back, I know that his disrespecting me this way is what triggered my LD to ND. I know you mean well CeMar, but your defense of H and pointing out my problems makes me think you need to re-read what I've posted and try to imagine where I'm coming from.
Honeypot: Yes, he is awake and I'm fast asleep when this happens. In the past, he's said that he can't help it. He's said that he's half asleep and didn't realize he was doing it. He's even said that he hoped he would turn me on and that I'd wake up and join in. He says he feels disgusted with himself now and that it just isn't like him to do such a thing to someone he loves. He tells me I'm everything to him and everything he ever wanted in a wife. He misses me and wants our intimacy back.
Now that he's finally aware of how bad his behaviour has been, and how damaging it is to our sex life, he's committed to getting help and changing. I just wanted to start this discussion to get a feel for what spouses of any drive make of this.
