Do I think she will choose her freedom over me? Yes.
That is the scary part. If I drop out of the picture, I fear she will force herself to fill the void with OM. This has never been about the OM. It has been about the direction she felt her future was moving. Did she want a life/marriage where her H was too worried about finances and never wanted to do anything? She had her daughter at 19 and felt life was passing her by. She didn't want kids right away after we married but had them because she knew I wanted kids. She is feeling older and there are things she wants to do while she is still young.
What will probably happen is that I will finally let go and start dating someone else. This will force her to make a decision or the decision will make itself. I have never broken up with someone and then started to date them again. Once I am done, I am done. I guess I am scared of being "done" with my W.
I am emotionally ready to attempt to date someone else. However, my life isn't ready to date someone else. I still have a house that is halfway furnished. My car is on its last days. I need to buy new bedroom furniture and a new car. I would be embarrassed to take a date to my house right now or take out a date in my car.
Our sitch is not centered on the OM. It is about what she wants for her life. But the OM part [censored].
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
