And the answer to the above was there in the last thread from Starsky .....

Ask yourself, "What is the right thing to do in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing right in front of me?" Don't "tick off" your spouse on purpose, and don't go around trying to be a d*ck, but if you are confident that you're doing the right thing, do not be concerned one whit if your cheating spouse gets upset or not.

Memory - please don't let me down in future.