You do have several positives, Lost. And I know that you know your W better than anyone. My biggest concern, however, this entire time has been that you are basically allowing her to have an affair. If you were ok with that affair then that would be a different story. But from your post, it sounds like you're not.
Two things stood out to me. You stated that if she wanted space that you could give it to her easily but then in the next sentence you state that space and darkness is scary. What if it forces her to the OM?
Do you really believe that if you told her that you are not ok being in a M where she openly has a relationship with another man and that you will not continue to be around as her HUSBAND while she continues that behavior... that she will really choose him over you?
This is where boundaries come in. Are you willing to continue tolerating this just because you don't want to state otherwise for fear she would choose him? Does it make you happy to have a W that's "partly" yours?
The second thing... "I believe the end is coming, but every time I think it is about to end, it seems to start up again." Why do you think that is?? Boundaries...
She knows you'll allow it... she doesn't have any reason to let him go because you'll always be there and he'll always be there. There's nothing for her to lose. I say these things because it obviously isn't how you want your M to be. And, again, I see so many positives... I hope for the best for you and your family.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
