I'm glad you're figuring these things out. This is very much part of the learning process. The best thing about this whole thing, IMO, is that it forces you to dig deep. To recognize past mistakes and shortcomings and work on becoming better.

I think what you did was perfect. You didn't force her into a R talk. You just quickly apologized for something that was probably a huge concern for her. I would most definitely leave it at that and be proud of yourself today.

Babysteps, my friend...

Me: 32 H: 32
M 9 yrs
#1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2
Bomb 8/12/11
H moved out 8/14/11
PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12
Got my own place 8/25/12
H & OW move in together 9/15/12
Still married.