You are upset 'cause he's telling you how to feel?
probably! It upset me because I did hate the idea that he felt like I'd be upset with him.
I think in the past I would have gotten irritated that he wasn't being independent. But in this case based on his next text it's his guilt of turning to me for help, he feels bad that he has things in the garage, feels bad that he's asking me for things. He can see how I might feel like he keeps things there and then dips in when he needs them. But strangely I don't feel like that at all. An insecure person might feel that way, but now I see it more like a friend would. I have some of his stuff, when he needs it he lets me know he's coming by. I don't feel used anymore than I would if another friend had things there. We did have some blow ups over splitting things up that (now I can see) came from my feelings of rejection. I felt like he was taking all the nice stuff for his new shiny life.
Quote:
And what did you do different this time, to change that possible pattern? A 180 might have been great and a change to keep?
instead of responding with the irritation I felt I said "I hate that you felt I'd bite your head off, that's not the case and I'm sorry if it has been in the past" I addressed that I may have been less than accommodating in the past and apologised.
I think it worked....because he then said very nice things about my ability to get a promotion, said if you make your mind up you'll do it, you always do. He said I know you're busy at work we'll talk tonight. (far cry from ending our text convos with no goodby just ending it) Two hours later he texted me about that he heard Dallas was back on tv in the states and would be here in the autumn and he knew that would excite me.
THIS is what I had been hoping for the fun friendship we had been developing before the bomb in May. And I responded about how excited I was about that show. Sue Ellen is my hero and didn't mention that I'd known about that for MONTHS, hell YEARS. Let him be my hero, Cheryl said.
