Well I am not really new. I was here back in 2009 and I am back again. After reading stories here I feel I am not the norm. While I am not divorced or separated, I feel if it wasn't for our 4 year old son, hubby would be gone by now. We met online 14 years ago and have been married for 13.
Many years ago my husband had told me he wanted out. We even looked at apartments for him. I think this was before 2009. At that time is when I bought DB. I think financially he realized it couldn't be done to move out. So we treked on.
Over the years fights have come and gone and our relationship has turned more into a roommate situation. Since moving into our new house we now have a spare room which he has claimed it for himself. So I sleep alone. He says he has trouble sleeping and I wake him in the night so he is better off in there. Whatever..
Our typical night is full of lack of conversation and in separate parts of the house. Don't get me wrong we talk and laugh but it's not a marriage. When I do say something he takes it the wrong way and says it's the way I say it. I think at this point I don't recognize how I say things. Its more friendship. We parent very well and we don't really fight.
My main issue is he frustrates me and I think at this point it's because I don't think he gives a crap about me. I think that is why we don't have sex either. Why would I give it up to someone who doesn't care?
Like I said I feel I am out of the norm here and in more of prevention mode than reconcile mode. Any advice??
2 books I would recommend if you don't already have them. I love you but I'm not in love with you and the love dare
Have you gotten them? In the love dare it has you ask your partner, what are 3 things you would change about me? You need to ask these ques and not respond after. that's right, suck it in!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Hi bkbond, just saying hi. Hope you are doing well today
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks for the welcome.. Today is an okay day for me. I tried to watch how I said things yesterday but still caught myself being snippy or demanding is what he says. I have been thinking about therapy but not sure..
This is the same issue as we have always been having. He just gets to the point where he blows up, gets mad, stomps off, and wants to leave. In my work I manage employees and he has told me several times that I treat him like an employee. I guess I don't see that, maybe I would have fired him by now, LOL.
I think the communication is lacking in our M because I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with what I say because I might just say it wrong. I know what I say isn't the issue because I am not nasty about anything. The lack of affection is an issue too. I never get an I love you or even a kiss goodnight or even him saying goodnight. He just passes me by gets ready and go into his room.
