i did not say she was a lousy mother for leaving her son. i just don't understand it...or maybe i do. read your words again b/c I definitely got the impression you said she wasnt much of a mother if she went off to her residency. And she did PLAN on bringing her son, originally.
But when push came to shove, she left without him. IF i were in her shoes and thought this was more than a temporary crappy situation, I would not have made her choice either.
My sitch was only 16 weeks of Army training away, but was pretty traumatic for me. I just think her shots at Alamo are the bigger issue.
even a father should try to stay with his child and not be called a "dedicated doctor" if he puts his career before his child. "even a father"??
...meaning, there is a double standard or what?
MEN (and often doctors), tell themselves they are "helping THEIR FAMILY" by working so hard. I hear that all the time. they can go days without seeing their own kids and helping someone else's kids...and want credit at work AND AT HOME for their WORK...after all,
Who is "Putting food on the table"? Who is "keeping a roof over our heads"? ETC
And even when what they are really doing is taking extra call or extra work or cases for the glory of it, they'll want credit at home for missing their kids' lives b/c gee whiz, they WORK SO HARD.
Also, the more a man earns, the "more successful" He is considered by most in our society.
parenthood should be put off if a career is more important. she should be able to find a residency near her child. "She should be able to"? Well Like I said, tell Congress that. Not all specialties are offered in all states, and if it's the only one she wants
OR the only one that accepted her, she does not have much choice. Hence the questions I asked Alamo on that topic.
As for putting off parenthood for a career, I found out we were expecting while I was in my last year of law school. I already owed tens of thousands of dollars and we lived in a pricey area of the nation and my h was entering medical school.
Not all children are planned. Sometimes God invades your life with a wonderful surprise.
i'm looking at this through the eyes of a parent who put her child's needs second to her own and regrets it.
not to hijack but why do you regret it?
the effect on the child of losing one parent is horrific. justify as you may but the long-term effect on the child will be devastating.
Well I hope you are wrong about that since my h is in the reserves and his unit is deploying to the Middle East next month.
So rather than expect my child will be devastated "long term", I'm going to do my best to make sure she isn't. Their r will be supported as best I can w/skype and email and regular contact subject to his mission...and how I show MY feelings about his departure. As you must know, most military families survive this. I've personally witnessed this and have several brothers who are also veterans. A parent CAN be gone and still have a r with his/her children. I cannot accept that your situation is everyone's. I KNOW it's not easy...I get that.
Hey Alamo-sorry if this is a hijack.
Finally, SS, what are you advising Alamo to do?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
