Thread #7 - What goes down, might come up.

[Navyguy]

Meeting a "guy" when you're married is inappropriate, whatever it's called. The question of whether it was a "date" does not even make sense.

I think you will have to set some boundaries for yourself.

We had another exhausting talk last night. Some of the "low-lights":

SS - I told W this last night. She refuses to see it that way. To her it is just dinner with a friend who happens to be a male. I asked: isn't that how all romantic relationships start?

She continuously insisted she doesn't want a R with him. She says he is someone that has been through the ringer just like her and can help her laugh about it. I asked how she can have a stronger emotional bond with a guy she just met than me. She said it was because he's never hurt her like I have.

I don't think she's lying...but I also don't think she has any respect for my feelings or a clear view of his intent...and she could change her tune at any second. She knew meeting him for dinner would hurt me. She did it anyways. Then she tried to lie about it "to avoid me getting upset and having to talk to me about it".

I told her I think it was inappropriate. All I knew was that she was pissed off at me, told me she needed a break, and went and had dinner with some guy that she just met. That's all I knew and that's what I reacted to.

She then told me that I'm still trying to control her and tell her who she can and can't be friends with. I said this is the first person I've ever had a problem with you being friends with.

She doesn't understand how I can acknowledge our marriage is over and not be ok with her R with this guy. Even if they did have romantic intentions. She said she tried calling her 1 GF here in the area first and she didn't answer, so she called him. She sees him the same as she sees Ohio BFF. This great person that will never judge her on anything and help her through a tough time.

And now, all she sees is that I am selfishly taking that away from her because I don't want to deal with the pain that it causes me.

I said before that if I had to bring this guy up again, it would be followed by D paperwork. Now we have this MC planned. I don't know if I want to wait until after that, or just pull the D trigger now.

The pain has to stop.

This just all needs to stop.