The anxiety is partly about finances (how can I afford a place - stupid question, I can afford one; also - I don't want to come away from this with $0 because I think we can get more with a little elbow grease and I'm not so desperate to sell just to sell like H acts), partly about logistics (how am I going to find a place during a time that is not the normal apartment rental cycle here; starting over in a new place; separating out all of our stuff). Anyway, I'm going to start being more assertive with how I need things to be run during this time because doing my 180 of backing off doesn't address getting my needs met.
H has texted me a few times. I ignored them. I wrote back today about a time with a realtor that doesn't work for me (in the middle of my work day).
In better news, I had a lovely time at a family baby shower yesterday. Except for the times when people asked about H (I made the decision not to tell anyone there, didn't want to take anything away from my family member on her day) I did alright. I had a few near-tears moments when it hit me that I am nowhere near having something like that (a celebration over an upcoming baby) and am actually going in the other direction. But - the day wasn't about me. I was able to be truly happy for my family member and she loved the blanket. We were actually in happy tears a few times over it. So that was nice. Family is everything.
Trying to figure out some GAL for when H and I end up at home at the same time again. He's packed his weekends pretty full of things for himself, so that means I won't have to work quite as hard to get out of the house. I should, however, probably look back in to amending our tax return (I left something small out when I did them).
Going to try to work out tonight, too. So hard to do on vacation
