Another Update. After I asked H about the text messages and he told me it was a woman at work he confided in about us, I had let a few days pass. On July 3rd something told me to log into his email account. So I did. In there I found a google chat that was saved. I saw message from her asking him how Soccer went with our son, My H asking if he could walk her to her car. Then here was the kicker. I found one video and 2 picture messages. The Video was a vulgar video of her using a toy. Then the one picture was of her topless and one of her crotch. I was fuming..... My H was sleeping because he had to work the night shift after working all day. I just could not let this pass until he got home from work in the AM so I went upstairs and woke him up.
I asked him about the video and the pictures. He said when he got them he freaked out and deleted them right away. He asked her not to send any more. He said he never sent her any pictures back. From what I can see from his text history after I confronted him on Sunday about the messages there have not been any texts to her. My H said he is not looking for a relationship. And then he proceeded to tell me all of the things about this woman he did not like....Like her smoking, her having 2 children under 5. She is 11 Years younger than him (26) She has a crazy BF or H not sure which, Here is where I stopped him. I said to him for as easy as it was for me to find this it would be just as easy for her "SO" And I did not want any crazy BF or H showing up at my door asking why he was getting pornographic material from his girlfriend. He just looked at me and said, "You are right"
He then went to work and I was still feeling very betrayed. I went back into his account and got the pictures. Why? Not sure just incase I ever needed proof or something. I started looking at the time lines of the conversations. then the account locked up. He had changed his PW. So I called him an asked him why? He said he wanted to see what I saw and he removed it. I was like Okay, and then I just said to him "you know this does not look good' "It looks really bad" So then I asked him if he was going to tell her that I saw the video and the pictures. He asked me if I wanted him to. I said I was not sure and I hung up.
When he got home from work we were both very tired. I had slept for about an hour and he had been up all night. When he did get up he was a little affectionate with me. Not sure if it was the guilt or not....So this is what I figured happened. Around the time they started texting was the time he told me he did not want to be with me anymore. I did see about 5-6 other pictures come to his phone from Text. These were different than the chat session I found. These were also sent late at night or a lunch time. They were sent back from the beginning of June, now I do not know what those pictures were I can only assume. But for him telling me he asked her to stop sending the pictures is a cock. So I think they may have started out with the platonic relationship she wanted to bring it up a notch. That that probably turned into sexting. And that was when I saw the texts. I have not asked him to confirm this, but this is what makes since to me.
So what I have decided to do is NOTHING. Reason I do not want to add to the Drama. I do not want to give him a reason why he should leave or pursue this. Do I really need him to confirm what he did? I know what happened. I have the records. From what I can see he did the right thing by stopping the contact. Now they work at the same hospital. So do I really know if they stopped contact no, I have to take his word on this one. But I think I would be able to tell what is going on by his actions. He has been very attentive the last few days. Talkative, doing things around the house that he has neglected for years. Again here I just noticed his efforts. Not saying anything to him. I Feel like if I say something to him he may take it as a Jab instead of a complement. So I just let him do his thing
As far as this OW goes. I know what he is going thought because I went through it myself. The newness the excitement, but in the end its not worth loosing what you have. What happened to him here was the same way it started with me. So I know, but I stopped it before it could get to far.
So in Limbo again I sit. Still not sure if he will go or he will stay. He should be seeing the therapist the week. He is Pro-Marriage by the way. Keeping the family together. So I do not know. When he left this AM he kissed me good-bye and I said "Have a good day" and he said "you too" which is different because for the last few weeks he has not said anything back to me.
