Needing some guidance... 5

[2thepoint]

I have so much more dignity in myself than I ever did before and although it makes me sick to my stomach to end things. I'm really feeling like we will not progress into anything while he's cake eating and I'm allowing it. OW is not going anywhere and I am the backup. I cannot accept that in a M and will not accept it. I know without a doubt that I will be gone and he will regret all of these decisions he's making.

You've answered your own question here and you are absolutely right!

The fact that he's been questioning his decision to continue with her just proves that. But at this point, time for me to move on... it's getting old.

Do you really believe this? The "questioning" is nothing but script. He's having an affair, pure and simple and it is like a drug for him and he can't pull himself away. He has to get his fix and will say anything to make it happen. You need to understand this and accept that this is the way it is for now.

Really having some major thoughts of just filing. There's only so much of this that I can take after he repeatedly tells me that he just wants his family back together. I do not feel bad about going to his house tonight. Their behavior is sooooo inappropriate.

He may very well want his family back but his actions sure do suggest otherwise, don't they? Have you at least consulted a lawyer so that you understand your rights?

Here's the thing, Your H is having an A and he likes how it makes him feel....enough so that he dumped you for the OW. That does not make you any less desirable, it simply makes him an adulterer. He may one day wake up out of his A induced fog but it isn't going to happen any time soon.

This is only my opinion so take it for what it is worth. In order for you to know if there is ever going to be a chance to R with your H, you need to set him completely free. No strings, no if's and's or buts. He has to know that you are moving on, with or without him. Dropping in on him does not send that message.

Will filing send that message? Perhaps. Is it your only solution? Not necessarily. You need to go way dark and stay there. Go GAL like you've never done before. Start doing things completely for the benefit of JKS and no one else. Become selfish for yourself and see where that leads.

You've got to let go and let God as the saying goes.

Can you do it?