A week ago my W was yelling at me because I didn't throw out a leftover in the refrigerator quickly enough for her. I started to go over to get it, and then I stopped. She continued to yell. I stared at the food item, refusing to go any further. She got it herself.
I think one of the upcoming tests will be around finances and her working. Her part-time job will end around Labor Day. Her sister, who is going thru a D, is not in a position to pay her anymore to prepare family meals for them. This job served as a buffer when my W lost her other job about two years ago. It's allowed her to take some time off from the world of work, but now I think she uses it to avoid finding another position. The job accounts for about 1/3 of our income, so it will need to be replaced. I'm hoping she will be eligible for unemployment benefits.
I haven't said anything about it yet to her. I was hoping she would take the initiative and begin looking for work, but that hasn't happened. In my opinion another part-time job would be in her best interests. I think she needs more structure in her life. She stays up all night, and spends the day sleeping. Her main activities are with me when I get home from work and on the weekends. She gets a visit from her mother weekly.
I'm feeling a need to influence the situation and push her to do something, but my guess that is not the best approach.
CL
And you are probably right.
So--Options:
1) Talking = Power Packaging = discerning what is important TO HER. What things influence her?
---Will ' Calling her on her Crap', as Starsky suggests...be effective (shock value, because you don't do this) OR will it be a cheeseless tunnel/aka, more of the same?
2)DO Something different: what can you DO or STOP DOING that would influence her to find some full or part-time work?
