One step closer to the edge and I'm about to break

[Fightfire00]

did not have a good day... got home from work this morning and found that W had taken more things to her apartment... not sure why stuffed animals and school uniforms hurt so much... I'm trying so very hard not to let her actions dictate my day, but it still hurts... then oldest Son told me that when school starts, they will be staying with W through the week, and with me only on weekends... I've been told by a few teachers that this is what's best for the kids and their school work, but I would have liked to be included in a decision about this... it seems W is still in complete control and though I am LBS, I have NO say... I cried in the bathroom away from the boys...

still praying, learned to say the rosary... trying very hard to keep the faith that W will come home at some point...

i have to keep telling myself it's only been 2 months... she just moved out 5 weeks ago... but it seems like an eternity... and I HATE when therapist tells me that no matter what I do, even if it's 100% perfectly right, that she still may not come home...

harsh reality I guess... I sincerely hope that it does get easier... not sure I will have enough gas in the tank to keep going as long as it takes if it doesn't get easier... and i know what will be said, detach, detach, detach... I've tried, I honestly have, I just don't know how do do that and still love her with all my heart..

I guess it comes with practice... I don't know... which is the hardest thing of all for me to deal with... the not knowing...