I think of our H's as being similar...so I wonder if he too has ever felt like a failure around you in any way and maybe didn't want to admit his shortcomings either to not have the house ready in time or that he didn't plan correctly....no one wants to move back in their parents!


aah brit - hit the nail. i think he felt like an awful failure - and i'm so sad that i contributed to him feeling like that. and to se it still now.

i feel bad - since that night we were together - he tried that night and then july 4th to start talking about how shitty he felt about the house. without realizing what i was really doing - i just encouraged him to feel good about it. instead, why didn't i keep my mouth shut and let him just say what he wanted to say - maybe i stopped him.

so when i realized i did that after reading your post - i learned some things about myself - that the house makes me nervous so i act as if i'm great about it and stay really cheerful about it
the other thing i learned is that i am still not completely attuned tot he very subtle things that h is trying to say, because i expect him to say other things.

so i will put that knowledge to good use and watch for subtle cues.

i'm so glad though that i have got to the point were instead of regretting and going panicky that i didn't get it right, i am just seeing and then relearning.

Use that feeling to propel you into making your insides match your outsides!

oooh yes - and your description about yourself made me grin too

YAY to us!!!

(((( ))))
zig

me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"