I promised myself I wouldn't stay on the bb but I got questions whizzing round my head that I can't find the answers for by reading others experiences. I'm sure they're out there but as to where
1. My W says there's been no communication which is the reason that the D has been started. How the heck do I start any conversation when she just doesn't want to?
2. I've been keeping busy by doing "man" things round the house. I've also done some things that typically my W would do. She'd done the washing and had left them out to dry. I've folded them up for her. Is this one of the jobs that I should have just left for her to finish?
I'm asking to avoid any eggshells and not to find ways to either weasel out of doing things or to score points. Neither of the last two have I ever done (but a Nice Guy would say that????)
And a text from someone - a close friend. And I HAVE NOT been out and told everyone that my W is doing. As far as everyone else is concerned she's at home or doing the shopping or... You get the picture. Not at all sure that the W is playing that way.
Here's A reason for the vacillating -
You will eventually get to that point. It just takes time. The only way to get there though is truth. You have to look at the truth of your situation and as hurtful as it might seem - face it and realise that perhaps your marriage is not the thing that ultimately will make you happy, content and fulfilled.
You think holding on to her is going to do that. But how many times are you going to keep trying? �Perhaps you haven't given life enough of a chance to show you that there is something better out there, because you are holding on to what you so desperately wanted this to be.
A constant needing to please someone to keep them, is not what life, our lives were designed to be. Life is there to be enjoyed. We only have one life, and it is short Mac. Don't waste another second.
There is someone out there that will love you like you have no idea. Will love you because you are you - not because of what you do and don't do for them. Life is too short and I promise you - there is life after what you are going through - and it is good.
Why hasn't the W really left? To keep a stake in the house? Why am I still waiting for the papers to arrive? Because she hasn't been back to finalize with her L? Why does she still stay out for nights at a time? To see if she can get a reaction from me? Why is she still doing my shirts and things? Feeling guilty?
And after the last post why am I still fighting (again)? Because she's worth it, I'm worth it, we're worth it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I'm reading hers I'm trying to make since of mine. And that's not going to work.
What is working is that after a long spell of no friends dropping in to see me due to accident - things are on the change - two more friends just asked me if they are welcome to pop in! Now I'm feeling good about myself. I'm also feeling good about leaving the empties on the bar for the W to see on Tuesday! Let her try and work out who's been.
Well blow me down with a feather - literally just had a text message saying she's still alive, where she's been over the weekend and where she is now. And HOW AM I and how was MY weekend.
And now the Q's from the W - "enough of tennis where did you watch the 3d tv - sounds nice" and "waiting for the 8 oclock movie. My boyfriend is the head actor"
