so there you are mac - being flippant through all your posts - and then you come up with this ^^^^^
is there more depth to you than meets the eye?
i just want to say, be careful that your flippancy isn't your habitual way to avoid pain and do the real work that needs to be done
big hugs and hope you sleep all
even though i haven't posted - i've kept caught up on your thread everyday - there's something about you that's catchy - trying to put my finger on it (grin!!)
the south african mystery?????
stay strong
zig
I agree. "Flippant" -- that's a good way to put it.
Zig, Starsky, guilty as charged (there I go again - sorry - ouch)
But please ge aware that it's only this online face that's suffering from this attitude. And there's a reason - its about the only thing that's keeping me sane at the moment.
Imagine a huge empty hall except for me in the corner
The hall is quiet which is giving me time to (re)read DB and DR.
Okay that's me slapped silly and ready to see what today is like. Been very lazy (11:10 am and still in bed!) not for much longer.
Oh and zig - that post wasn't me. I found it and it meant so much I had to share. Next time I'll use quotes (and there will be a next time as there's so much wisdom out there).
I'm getting to the point of saying "balls to it all". It could even be the best thing that could have happened. A BIG clean out of my life. A clean start at 55!!!!!! Oh dammit this isn't right. NONE of this is right. My crud or the W's. Need to focus.
And after not seeing her for three days, that could be good. It'll allow me AND her the space to really really think. It was a blessing last time. I can only pray it will be now.
Now is THIS what you want to see people? No flippancy. Just me down to the bone
What can I do for her? Nothing except work on me. On my own.
Mac, I don't "want" to see ANYTHING. If this is just your coping mechanism, and not your normal demeanor, and it helps you get thru this crap, then hey -- whatever works for you.
I do think you need to find some sort of equilibrium here, however, as you seem to swing pretty manically from pathetically missing her to being really angry and "F it! F her!" and then back again. You want to try to get to a place with her where your demeanor is basically "Hey, love ya babe, but I don't NEED you. I'd love for you to be the frosting on my cake, but I've realized that I need to be my OWN cake in my life, and I'm pretty cool with myself and now realize that I'll be fine either way."
Hi Starsky - had to google it and the answer is yes I do.
Btw - on the advice of the friends i spent the evening with on friday (and the many others here), the doormat has written to the best attorney who will hopefully bang a nice letter off to the W's attorney.
He is apparently the best in more ways than one. He actually understands what "I don't want a divorce" means. I want to save the marriage but not at any cost!
I'm not gong to take this sitting on my a$$ hopeing things will just turn out.
"Hey, love ya babe, but I don't NEED you. I'd love for you to be the frosting on my cake, but I've realized that I need to be my OWN cake in my life, and I'm pretty cool with myself and now realize that I'll be fine either way."
Oh boy would I love to give here both barrels with this between the eyes but I realize it's for me. Mores the pity.
Yeah, you can't make that some SPEECH that you make, in order to get a rise or a reaction out of her. It has to REALLY GENUINELY BE the new attitude that oozes from every pore of Mac!
