This is not looking good! (Long post...)

[confusedfather]

Regarding your question about moving furniture, I suggest you don't help unless she ask you for help. But make it be specific and don't offer what she doesn't ask for. If she ask you to help move the couch, make her ask you to help move the loveseat too. This way you can show her you respect her need for space while not feeling like you are being walked over. when my W was moving stuff out I did not offer any help. But when she asked for help moving the washer I pleasantly said I would help. Not sure of this is good advice, but i feel like I showed her that i don't support her decision, but she left knowing that I am a nice guy. It made me feel better about the sitch.